nosdrinker: That’s Definitely NOT The Letter I Pressed: The Tale of One Man’s Struggle With the iPhone Keyboard
When your friend gets to leave early from class
blakeisatwat: the bags under my eyes are prada
thatsmoderatelyraven: My mom said that if this post gets 500,000+ notes, then i can get a fluffy chicken like this one
alberoni: bettywhite4ever: I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation LMFAO OH NOO DON”T SAY THAT
krvsty: burghisland: krvsty: deylyn: krvsty: do you think carrots have feelings go the fuck to sleep. i made this when it was 10am you need jesus u think Jesus knows if carrots have feelings
askclint: If you are reading this, you have survived your entire life up until this point. You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the elements, different phases of life. And here you are. You go, motherfucker. You’re awesome.
thinsiqnificant: my mom bought me a camouflage sweater today and i was like mom why did u do that and she said “so u can go hunting for men”
when you discover new music and it feels like you found jesus
best-of-funny: digitaldoggy: one time this dude was being stupid so i said “well you can’t spell stupid without u” and he got really angry and shouted “WELL THERE’S AN ‘I’ IN STUPID TOO” and i just stared at him for a rly long time X
primadonnas: SO I GET HOME AND THERE’S THIS RANDOM KID ON MY COUCH AND HE’S LIKE ‘ALRIGHT MAN I DON’T WANNA HURT U JUST PUT UR STUFF DOWN AND GET ON THE GROUND I JUST WANT UR MONEY’ AND I FUCKIN ALMOST PUKED I WAS LIKE “OMG PLS NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY I’M ONLY 15” THEN HE WAS LIKE “NAH MAN I’M JUST FUCKIN WITH U I’M UR BROTHER’S FRIEND HE’S IN THE SHOWER I’M JUST WAITIN FOR HIM”
casperthefriendlycunt: ethyne: you’ve probably sat next to a boy in class that’s had a boner before they were sitting next to me of course they had a boner
I'm nearly crying
peskytimepirate: ralphcanwreckme: because I had this awesome password journal as a kid but it was a bitch to open because you had to say the password the same way every time so after a while I gave up on it and never tried to open it again but today I was cleaning my room and found it so I decided to open it, thinking that it contained old journal entries or drawings from when I was a...
Having eye sex with Finn Harries.
daniellepeazerfitness: ALL MY FEELS ARE LIKE: hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng. :O I can’t even. Its like hurting me internally. dfkj;flaskjfs;aldkfjas;dlkfjsadl;kfjsdfkjsadlkjfhdsakjfhd JESUS CHRIST